Collapsing Walls

As my world collapses around me, loneliness and darkness creep into my heart. I'm no longer sure who I am or what I'm supposed to do.  Up until now I was lost in the prison I had built for myself with walls so high that nobody could find me.  A world of my own making, a world to myself. But now it's all gone and I've lost myself and the life I've always known.  I don't know what else to do, so I light a match.  I light a match while I sit here alone and watch the world burn.

Christmas Mornings Past

I've been trying to remember some of my most memorable Christmas mornings and only a few actually come to mind surprisingly because I can always remember having cool gifts and quality time with family. But the ones I do remember are really special and very vivid in my mind.

The first Christmas morning that comes to mind was probably when I was 5 or so. I opened up a present that was just a Star Trek case with nothing in it. Kinda weird, but then I started opening up more presents and ironically enough I had gotten TONS of Star WARS toys. I bet I had at least 20 or so figures along with that Star Trek case. It was awesome though because Star Wars was so cool back then(especially before episodes 1-3...ugh). I still have all of that stuff too this day!

The next one that comes to mind is memorable for 2 reasons and they are tied together. I remember that Legos were huge then, probably when I was around 6 maybe 7. I wanted this Ninja Fortress thing that was huge. For whatever reason that year I ended going shopping with my grandma and she bought it for me for Christmas, but she tried to hide it from me by covering it up with stuff. But somehow or another I ended up sneaking a peak at it and I knew I was gonna get it for Christmas. Now on Christmas morning I remember waking up and looking under the tree and there set that Ninja Fortress, supposedly from Santa, but I knew that wasn't true! So that was the Christmas I found out Santa wasn't real...but hey I did get a spiffy Lego Ninja Fortress which I still have(in pieces though).

Okay the next one was around 97 or 98, because I got a PS1. Why was that special? Well it was the first gaming system that was ever mine and mine alone. See before then we only had a NES and a Genesis, and those weren't really mine but my brother's and sister's. But now I had this 3D console of greatness sitting on my dresser with my little tiny TV. Its funny because it was a while before I even got any games for it, all I had was this demo disc that came with it. It had like 7 game demos on it and I played them over and over again. I don't have that PS1 anymore sadly, but I still have most of the games and that demo disc to this day. The reason I got rid of it ties into my next Christmas memory.

I knew it was coming....this was the year that I got a PS2!!! I so certain that I would get one that I bought a game for it months before Xmas. I also knew I was gonna get it because I had become a master at figuring out what I was gonna get for Xmas by snooping when the grandparents were at work. I remember getting it and immediately hooking it up and playing it until I was forced to stop and eat something. I was truly in love with the system and at the time the graphics were unbelievable. And yet again I have it to this very day!

Well those are the most special ones that come to mind, but I'm sure there were many more.

I pretty much forgot about about this....

Yeah so I'm almost done with my first year of college at Bryan now and I haven't touched this blog for a while. Admittedly I actually forgot how to get to it. I will try to post on here and mabey share this site on my facebook or something. Anyway.....

I'm still pretty much the same person, but slightly better at guitar and stuff. I kinda want to organize this thing a little better so Im gonna do like weekly music, games, and even movie picks. Im not real sure about anything else yet, Im just gonna go with whatever. Im still a Jesus freak, so Im sure I will throw some of my thoughts on Christianity and cool things I relate to that like I used too. So on to the GAMES!!!!

I have to admit that I haven't really been able to buy any new games lately and I have mostly been playing PS1 and SNES games as of late.

I do have Mass Effect 2(picked it up the first day it hit shelves), but with school and almost finals I haven't had a whole mess of time to play with it especially considering its SUPER LONG and has ALOT OF DEPTH. I beat the first one a while back and carried my character over to the second one which is an awesome feature. You still have to start at level one with new stats, BUT the benefit of carrying your character over is that the story is heavily affected by decisions that were made in the first game...which I have to say is fricking awesome. And Mass Effect 3 is coming soon and will carry on your character from the first and second game. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, thats okay and you may as well skip the next few paragraphs because I'm gonna talk about a couple more game related things.

Next, I'm on a journey to acquire Xenogears for a decent price. This is a PS1 game and the lowest I have seen it go for on ebay is about 40 bucks. Most people want to sell if for 70-200 bucks. Pretty crazy right? I'm not a huge collector so I just want to play this game based on all the recommendation I have gotten over the years. Im a poor college kid, so if you have this game, please hook me up.

A few games I really want to play ASAP....Final Fantasy 13, yes I like FF, get off me. My friend demanded I get Splinter Cell: Conviction, so I will probably work on getting that too...plus I love those old xbox/ps2 splinter cells and still own a couple of them. And Borderlands!!! A few guys from school play the heck out of this game and I STILL have not be able to buy it. I actually was gonna buy it at Gamestop around Xmas, but when I got up to the register the guy said they didn't actually have the game and he didn't know where the heck the case came from. It sucked and I ended up getting another game that I had little desire to play, but I had to get three because of the buy 2, get 1 free promotion. MUSIC is next.

Music....I must say that VH1 classic has been on my TV for the last few weekends I've been home. I have always loved classic metal/rock, but I find myself listening to it more than ever lately..probably because new music is sucking it up lately.

My reccomendation this week is:
Demon Hunter- The World is a Thorn...Now Demon Hunter is a band that I loved, liked, then absolutely could'nt stand. I loved their first two cds(s/t and Summer of Darkness), liked their third(the Triptych) and hated their fourth(Storm the Gates of Hell)...but their new one, The World is a Thorn is definately a return to form for them. So check it out if you like Heavy Christian Music.

Movies, I never really have watched new movies, but I watched two this week that I liked...
2012: Okay the idea of this movie is pretty extreme and stupid, but the characters and "lesson" is actually pretty good. If you don't know its about the end of the world....the government has kept it a secret for sometime and built giant Arks to save themselves....The main character and his family go on a journey to sneak on one of the Arks while the world is being destroyed. Really good special effects and good story if you don't take all of the end of the world stuff too seriously. SPOILER::::::::why the heck is Africa the ONLY place to survive????:::::::::::SPOILER

The second movie is Bodyguards and Assassins. If you know me, you know I LOVE Hong Kong Action and Kung Fu films. This movie may not even be out in America anywhere, but I got it from a friend. It was subtitled, so if that turns you off...then you should really consider expanded your movie tastes. It follow the story of the Chinese revolution. It has an extremely touching story(I actually teared up towards the end), great looking picture and sound, and some really cool fight scenes towards the end. Donnie Yen(one of the greats)is in this movie in top fighting form and even has a pretty dramatic role. I won't spoil anything for you, but the story is AMAZING. If you aren't afraid of subtitles, then do what you have to to acquire this movie...steal it if you have to(no I'm kidding, but seriously).....

Well that is all that I have for today and probably this week.

Day By Day

Life is hard, Death is unfair
You feel stuck in the middle of two bad things
I realize how you feel, Ive been there
My advice is:

Take it day by day
Choice by choice
Its okay to cry just so you can rejoice
Follow your heart, leave behind your old shell
------------------------------------------------
Its tuff to see her cry.

Time Passes By by Me

We are all dead now, time passed us by...
We let our chance at life slip away without even the slightest notice
Time spent with friends, family, and others we didn't always care for
Times that we thought would last forever, but they did'nt
Its funny how those old saying always seem to come back and haunt you
Every time the wind blows you hear a voice saying:
"You young can't wait to get old, and the old wish they were young."
But now we are here in a dark empty nothingness, ours lives wasted.
Our dreams never realized, our hearts never fully used to love others
We focused on the negatives, we were all cynics
If we could only go back...though its best not to think about
Our bodies lay in the ground, sharing our existence with worms and rocks
But your live is thriving, beautiful...don't share our fate
Love others openly, thank God regularly
But most of all LIVE YOUR LIFE

Its Been Awile...

...Since I posted something. Ive been keeping busy though no doubt. Ive been playing a lot of Dreamcast lately and a lot of Sonic. If you dont no what either of these are then google it and pretend you know or you pretty much had no childhood(even Hollinghead should know about Sonic). Yesterday I edited a film and added effects and music to it for Young Life, so you should come tonight and watch it(its pretty darn funny). Other than that, Ive been doing a lot of homework and being lazy when I get home. This will be my last week of school for the semester and Im stoked because I love Xmas time and all the movies and music that goes with it. Well I just thought I would give an update on my life before I posted another thought provoking blog.
Peace

What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse...

What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse, a line from Castlevania III for the NES. Its amazing how little things like that are still remembered and relevant in todays world almost 20 years later. To me the curse is sin and the night is when God returns. What a horrible night it would be to not be saved, to be left behind by your family and friends. Just my line of thought today...

On a lighter note, I went to Maryville yesterday morning with Josh to hang out and pick up my copy of Gears of War 2. Gears 2 is freakin great, and I cant put it down, it is the first one multiplied by 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 and 1/2. I still havent finished it because the story is so long and enjoyable this time around. I also explore every little cranny because the graphics are B-E-A-utiful.

I also picked up some cheap cds from Hastings. My favorite being Burn The Priest by Burn The Priest. This was Lamb of God's old name, dont let the name fool you they arent into Satan or whatever they just wanted an edgy name to get people to notice them and when they did that they changed it. I look at stuff like that like horror movies, its just there to scare you or get you to pay attention, when the movie is done the actors are back to normal life with there family and kids. Same with musicians, dont let the name or image scare you away from GREAT music.

Well Im definately not looking forward to going to school tomorrow, Im ready for Xmas break to recharge. I guess its back to playing Gears for me...